There are these WONDERFUL farmers, Michael and Debbie Sams, who have a business called Full Quiver Farms (because they are Amish and have a big family) and they makes cheese. You can buy their cheese at the Sunset Valley Farmers Market; I always buy my cheese from them whenever possible, they make a zillion kinds, okay they make like twenty five kinds. It is my considered EXPERT FOOD CRITIC opinion that their FETA CHEESE is the Best to be HAD on Planet EARTH. I also buy their fresh mozzarella, and on occasion their cheddar. But probably their most popular item is their flavored cream cheese spreads, they make, as near as I can remember, these flavors: blueberry, pineapple, garlic-basil, chive and onion, jalapeno, spinach-feta and strawberry.
So one day I was about to buy some jalapeno cream cheese spread, and I thought, “You know, Self, most of the things he uses to flavor these cream cheeses are things you have loitering around your very own garden, that you can never seem to find enough uses for.”
So I decided to try to make my own. It worked G*R*E*AT, tasted just like Full Quiver Farms, and I get to use up my own garden herbs and things. MAINLY, the flavors that find the greatest approbation from Mr. Thornberry are the Jalapeno and the Chive and Onion, and sometimes I make Dill or just “Herb” which means a bunch of herbs like Italian Parsley and Cilantro and Sacred Basil and Dill. But 9 times out of 10, I make Jalapeno. It is the most popular flavor BY FAR. It is the Michael Jackson of Flavors!
I use 365 brand Organic Cream Cheese, which costs $2.50.
First, you put one or two pickled or fresh jalapenos in the bowl of your food processor. Red ones make a very nice color of spread. If you are using the Mexican Pickled Jalapenos from the previous recipe, you can use the carrot and the onion and the garlic from those along with a jalapeno. The number of jalapenos will depend on how hot they are; mine from last year were SUPER HOT and the ones I picked at Johnson’s Backyard Garden were SUPER HOT too.
ANYWAY: to the one or two jalapenos, add about a teaspoon of French Gray Sea Salt. If you don’t have that kind of salt, use a half teaspoon of regular salt, and of course you could use any fancy gourmet salt you have around! Put the lid on the processor and pulse until the jalapenos are in tiny shreds.
Open your block of cream cheese and slice it into like 6 slices. Put the cream cheese in the food processor and pulse until it makes a ball sort of. Like there will be a ball of cream cheese flinging around in there, but not completely blended together. Take a rubber spatula and wipe all the little shreds of jalapeno off of the lid and the sides and make sure it is all in the bottom of the processor. Then replace the lid and pulse UNTIL THE BALL GOES AWAY and nothing is getting mixed anymore because it is all sticking to the sides.
Using the same rubber spatula, scrape all the jalapeno cream cheese out of the bowl and off the blade, and place in a handy receptacle. I use a glass with a lid.
This jalapeno cream cheese is mostly eaten on crackers by Dave, but I PARTICULARLY L*O*V*E it on a baked sweet potato! OMG so DELICIOUS! Also it is very good as a spread on a sandwich, not as the MAIN thing but used as one would use mayonnaise.