Happy Thanksgiving!

Turkey, gravy, boiled onions, stuffing, peas, corn, cranberry sauce, and mashed potatoes!

Thai Beef Salad

Thai Beef Salad, my dinner tonight, pictured with a wicked hot Thai pepper out of the garden

I love this, and it is a perfect way to prepare leftover sirloin, which is common in my house because I love grilled steak. (My other favorite way to use leftover steak is a steak sandwich with mayonnaise on squishy white bread. And potato chips.) Most of the ingredients are right in the Central Texas garden in fall and winter.

Chopped up hot pepper, onion, mint, sacred basil, cilantro, and cucumber

You will need:

Leftover grilled sirloin, rare (buy grass-fed if you can find it. It has TWICE the flavor of conventional, and more omerga-3 oils, and JUST DO AS I COMMAND!)

Lettuce

A sweet onion (a 1014 or a Bermuda or a few shallots)

10 strands (or more) of Cilantro

A fat sprig or two (or four) of Mint

Sacred Basil if available, one sprig (or 3)

A cucumber

A carrot

Fresh hot peppers (2) or ONE SMALL THAI pepper (!)

Pickled hot peppers if you don’t have fresh

One clove of garlic

Fish sauce (one or two teaspoons)

Lime or lemon or Meyer lemon (all the juice of one)

Tablespoon of sugar

Adding the sliced rare sirloin

This salad is fun to make because everything is cold, there is no rush and no worries about overcooking anything, you can just kind of zone out while you are chopping.

Thinly slice clove of garlic and fresh hot pepper. Then thinly slice roughly a quarter of the sweet onion (less if it is big) and the cucumber and toss all the chopped up things in a bowl. Add pickled hot pepper if your fresh pepper isn’t spicy.

(HAVE I MENTIONED THAT ONE SMALL THAI PEPPER IS ENOUGH TO MAKE IT VERY, VERY HOT?)

A bed of just-picked Red Oak Leaf and Buttercrunch lettuce

Put the carrot through the fine grater and add. Deleaf and chop up the cilantro, mint, and Thai basil and add. Slice up the leftover sirloin as thinly as you can without undue strain, and toss in the rest of the stuff. In a separate bowl, mix the sugar, lime juice, and fish sauce. Pour over the salad and toss. Serve on a bed of lettuce.

Building the Greenhouse

The wretched skeleton of the $25 greenhouse, full of weeds and a Fire Ant Metropolis

Many years ago…how many? Hmmmm…..I am thinking five or six? Maybe more? Well ANYWAY, I wanted a GREENHOUSE, and I priced greenhouse kits, where they ship you a box and then you put it together yourself, and they were like OVER A THOUSAND DOLLARS! The really nice ones were over TWO!

Are you as shocked as I was? Because that is really expensive for a crude plexiglass covered structure.

So I decided to see if I would really USE it (you HAVE seen those sad abandoned greenhouse kit greenhouses standing in people’s yards full of cardboard boxes?) and I followed the instructions in “Four Season Harvest” to make their “$25 Greenhouse”. It is made of rebar, covered with PVC pipes, and a big plastic sheet.

In this photo, I have placed my potted trees within the $25 greenhouse

The $25 Greenhouse actually worked G*R*E*AT the very first time I made it! And I found that I DO use it–a LOT. I use it to shelter my potted citrus and Thai Lime-leaf trees from the occasional freeze, to shelter my Aloe Veras ( I have a post coming up about my aloes…called THE BLACK HOLE OF ALOE CALCUTTA!!!!!   DUN DUN DUN!) and to grow delicate seedlings in the spring. It is great. So great that I have been re-making it every winter for $25 and I have never built a permanent one.

Some day I will.

The view into the door of the magnificent completed greenhouse

But for now: I give you—-The Remaking of the $25 greenhouse, 2009!

First, I dragged all the junk out of the Greenhouse skeleton, washed everything, weeded the entire floor, removed the Fire Ant Metropolis with a shovel and a wheelbarrow (I relocated them to a vacant lot. I know, I know, but I felt sorry for them, they had put so much EFFORT into their fancy metropolis. And they thought they were so SAFE hiding under my tarp in my mulch pile!) THEN, I did something entirely N*E*W (for me): I covered the floor with Weed Barrier Cloth and Old Mulch. USUALLY, because it is a great temperature in the greenhouse, damp, and free of lawnmowers, by spring I have quite a lot of weeds and high grass in there. Not this year (maybe)!)

Then Dave and I covered the frame with a new plastic sheet, and stapled it to the frame and weighed the sides down with rocks. (In the original instructions, for VERMONT, it just very unhelpfully says “bury the plastic sheet in the ground and when the ground freezes, it holds the plastic in place like a vise.” Uh-huh.

I don’t think the ground has frozen in Central Texas since , since, the ICE AGE?!?!?! Is that a million years ago? Ten Thousand? Ten thousand sounds right.

ANYWAY

View of Meyer Lemons and Tangerines inside Greenhouse

Seedling table and garden implements

Then, we took off the doors and I re-plasticked them, too. Then re-attached them. And it was done! It DID take ALL FUCKING DAY LONG, but only because 1) the wheels on my dolly were flat and I had to go get them filled, which they VERY KINDLY DID at Discount tire FOR FREE, and 2) I had to go to Home Depot to get transparent Duct Tape, and the high-school age stooges who were supposed to be working there, but who were actually MUCH more interested in popping their gum and gossiping, and who actually thought they were TOO COOL to CARE about their DUMB JOB, wasted 40 minutes of MY TIME staring at me blankly and telling me that Home Depot did not stock it and never had, when ACTUALLY they DO and DID, and looking at me like I was some kind of fat crazy middle-aged psycho when I kept on INSISTING that YES YOU DO CARRY IT. AND I BUY IT HERE EVERY YEAR IN NOVEMBER.

Dry Firewood temporarily stored in the Greenhouse

TO be FAIR, I have worked all my life in customer service until two years ago, and I have had my share of customers INSISTING that we used to sell some item that we have never, ever sold. So I did understand that they just thought I was WRONG. But….I wasn’t wrong, and they couldn’t find their asses with both hands, and they didn’t even LOOK on the computer or LOOK in the store or ask more experienced workers. They just looked at me blankly and denied they had it, when they actually had BOXES AND BOXES FULL.

But for now, I give you: THE COMPLETED GREENHOUSE!

Completed $25 Greenhouse with photogenic Chinaberries

My New Kitchen Mat

Isn't It GORGEOUS?!?

I am Made UTTERLY CONTENT by my N*E*W K*I*T*C*H*E*N  M*A*T!!

My Friend Christine, the Professional-Grade Shopper, was able to help me find it (I had seen it at a store, and FOOLISHLY thought that they would be available for sale when I needed one. Of course they were discontinued, and I had set my heart on this style of mat, and NOTHING ELSE WOULD DO. But I was saved by Christine and her mad shopping skillz.)

NOTHING ELSE DOING is one of my…..Personality Challenges. It has always been difficult for me to UNSET my heart on anything I have set it on. But this time I didn’t HAVE to! I got my gorgeous Rooster with Sunflowers Kitchen Mat!

The Surprise Artichoke

Artichoke

Remember when I dug up my Super Dead Artichokes, and instead of being dead a few of them were still alive, growing back from the rootballs? So I moved them to another bed (one with some shade) and they completely came back to life.

The Bare Glimmerings of Life, in September

Flourishing in October

Well they have continued to be alive and continued to flourish, but ONE of them, just ONE, has been confused enough by the entire experience of being pried out of the ground and buried in the shade to MAKE ARTICHOKES! FOR ME TO EAT! IN NOVEMBER!

Here you see the rare, unseasonal artichoke in the garden

I had it for lunch.

The Surprise Artichoke

The Most Horrible Weeds: Before and After Weeding Photos

Gargantuan Weeds Choke the Dead Peach Tree

“Why, oh why, are the weeds so incredibly much more horrible this year?” I wondered to myself. “Am I just getting older? Do they just SEEM worse?”

OH YEAH. THE DRIP SYSTEM.

These weeds have been thriving on drip system water, and have put down Hellish roots and have TAKEN OVER.

The WORST area is by my dead Peach Tree and “Rosebush”. Well, underneath all of the EVIL Morning Glory, there still IS a rosebush, but I haven’t seen it since March. I really should do a post on EVIL Morning glory, because it really is an incredible plant, flower and FOE.

P*L*U*S, there is this very Unfortunate House in my neighborhood that CLEARLY was landscaped by a Yankee Transplant (Not that I have anything against them), and they just didn’t know what they were getting into, with the year-round growing season here and the EVIL Morning GLory. Oh my Lord. Their backyard (which is visible from the street), well, it looks like they just had a nervous breakdown and gave up, the EVIL Moring GLory has completely taken over and is growing like Kudzu all up into the trees, having already overgrown all the shrubs and flowers and lawn furniture and the water feature and the gardening shed. I really should get you a picture!

There is ANOTHER house in my neighborhood too, that had this problem in years past, and although they have cleared most of it out, it is still a pitched battle.

Every winter I pull up every vestige of EVIL Morning Glory on my property, and every spring it comes back and grows its Transatlantic cables throughout the entire yard and up under the eaves and INTO the HOUSE and UNDER the HOUSE and UP the Night Blooming Jasmine (which is probably my favorite plant in my whole yard), trying to kill it.

Behold The EVILLL!!!!

Why do I let it grow at all? Well, it is PART hubris; I think I can mange it (and I always fail). Also, the flowers are really, really, REALLY pretty. Not as pretty as GOOD Morning Glory, but close. Good Morning Glory is the annual kind, you have to plant it from seed every spring, and it canNOT take the heat. I think it is called “Heavenly Blue” (the variety) and it IS Heavenly.

EVIL Morning GLory is Perreniel: Plant it once and suffer forever. It L*O*V*ES the heat. The flowers tend closer to purple than the annual Morning Glory. Like a Stephen King novel plant, it will envelope you and grow all over you and strangle you as you sit in your lawn furniture. It will tear your house down if you let it.

So, In these weeding photos, you will see the “rosebush” in the background, with it’s mantle of EVIL Morning Glory. Let the WEDDING BEGIN!

You can SEE the “Rosebush” in the far Left. See the leaves? Evil Morning Glory Leaves.

Long View of Weedy Area with the Beginnings of Weeding in the upper right

Half Weeded!

A Closer Look at the Fine Weeding Job that included digging up Sweet Potato sized Four O' Clock Tubers

All Planted Up with Cabbages, Kale, and Lettuce

Pad See Ew: A dish served with Thai Pickled Jalapenos

Pad See Ew with Pickled Red Jalapenos

“It’s hard to feel mysterious and romantic when you have been supping on Pork and Greens!”—–Anne of Green Gables, L.M Montgomery

Every culture has their own version of “Pork ‘n’ Greens”, but probably the BEST version is the Thai Dish Pad See Ew. Jam from Thai Fresh told me that, although Pad Thai is the most popular Thai dish in America, in Thailand the  dish that most Thai would identify as “The National Dish” is Pad See Ew. It is considered to be total comfort food, Mom-style cooking, although it is a street vendor favorite as well.

The ingredients for Pad See Eew are relatively few: Rice noodles, Chinese broccoli (or Kale), fresh pork, an egg, and garlic. Oh and Soy Sauce. I probably would never had tried making this dish at home, except for the Gardening Challenge:

“What am I going to do with all this ________?”

Last spring it was “All this Kale????” I myself am very fond of greens, I particularly love arugula and kale, oh but I also love Swiss Chard and Spinach. But I am the ONLY person in my house who likes them, so I have to eat ALL of them ALL BY MYSELF. Usually a garden of any size will produce enough greens to feed a family of 8, so using them up takes a lot of ingenuity. Pad See Ew is a GREAT dish for using up KALE.

(Of course, my kale plants at the present moment are a little over an inch tall, so I didn’t make it this time in order to use up Kale. In fact, I BOUGHT KALE AT THE STORE especially to make it, because I was craving it. Because it is SO DELICIOUS, the most POPULAR dish in all of Thailand !!!)

P*L*U*S, I noticed on the recipe that it is served with fresh pickled Chile Peppers (such as the Thai style fresh pickled jalapenos in my icebox right now) so this dish falls under the heading “What to do with pickled jalapenos”.

A NOTE: I find that when I am cooking Thai food, I use more meat and more sauce or curry paste than the recipes call for. So, consider this recipe rather flexible; you can really add more or less of anything and it will probably still be awesome. This recipe reflects the way I made it this evening.

PAD SEE EW

2 TBS oil

2 TB sugar

1 cup thinly sliced fresh raw pork (I use fresh ham steak from Peach Creek Farms.)

1/2 cup light Thai soy suace (you can buy this at Thai Fresh or  any Asian Market)

2-6 cloves of garlic. I myself like a lot of garlic!

several stems of cilantro if you’ve got it

Half a package of flat, wide dried rice noodles

1 egg

1 TBS dark soy sauce (tamari)

1 TBS white vinegar

A bunch of Kale, or you can be AUTHENTIC and use Chinese Broccoli. But don’t use regular broccoli, it’s flavor is not strong enough. To be Perfectly Wonderful, this dish must have that “Bitter Greens” flavor.

Use your biggest Le Creuset stockpot, or, a wok if you have one. I have given up on Woks and just use my Le Creuset anymore, I just seem to get better results.

1. Get out a big ceramic bowl, and put your dry noodles in it, and then run the hot water in your sink until it is coming out Burn-your-hand-hot, and fill the bowl with hot water. They should soak for about 45 minutes, they are ready when they are all floppy.  While they are soaking, you chop everything up. When cooking Asian, YOU REALLY HAVE TO do that Galloping Gourmet thing where you have everything all ready and chopped up before you turn the stove on.

Peel and mince your garlic (I do it the “SMASH” way) and also the cilantro if you have some. Chop up the Kale into pieces the size of which will fit easily on your fork when you are eating. Slice the raw pork into bite-size strips. Salt and pepper it while you are at it. Get an egg out of the icebox.

2. In a little dish, mix up the sugar, Thai soy sauce, Tamari, and the spoonful of Vinegar. Mix to dissolve the sugar.

Okay, ready to cook!

Drain the noodles.

Put the oil in the pot. When you think it might be hot, add the garlic and cilantro and stir a little. Add the Pork. When it looks about half done, add the Kale. It will start to turn bright green. Just keep stirring everything until the kale begins to wilt and get smaller. Grab your DRAINED noodles, and add them and really begin stirring so that the noodles cook too. Add the little bowl of sauce and sugar and STIR! When it seems like everything is cooked to your liking, clear aside a little empty area in the bottom of the pot, and crack the egg into it. Smash it up a little, that is, scramble it a little, and then toss everything around so that the egg can coat everything. It will be barely discernible, but it is important! To the Flavor of the Dish!

It is done!

Top with a few Thai pickled Jalapenos!

The version of Pad See Ew I made tonight was the BEST I HAVE EVER MADE!

Pad See Ew pictured with my jar of Fresh Pickled Jalapenos

Things to Make with Jalapenos: Jalapeno Cream Cheese

Half-used jar of 2008 jalapenos from the Icebox

There are these WONDERFUL farmers, Michael and Debbie Sams, who have a business called Full Quiver Farms (because they are Amish and have a big family) and they makes cheese. You can buy their cheese at the Sunset Valley Farmers Market; I always buy my cheese from them whenever possible, they make a zillion kinds, okay they make like twenty five kinds. It is my considered EXPERT FOOD CRITIC opinion that their FETA CHEESE is the Best to be HAD on Planet EARTH. I also buy their fresh mozzarella, and on occasion their cheddar. But probably their most popular item is their flavored cream cheese spreads, they make, as near as I can remember, these flavors: blueberry, pineapple, garlic-basil, chive and onion, jalapeno, spinach-feta and strawberry.

So one day I was about to buy some jalapeno cream cheese spread, and I thought, “You know, Self, most of the things he uses to flavor these cream cheeses are things you have loitering around your very own garden, that you can never seem to find enough uses for.”

So I decided to try to make my own. It worked G*R*E*AT, tasted just like Full Quiver Farms, and I get to use up my own garden herbs and things. MAINLY, the flavors that find the greatest approbation from Mr. Thornberry are the Jalapeno and the Chive and Onion, and sometimes I make Dill or just “Herb” which means a bunch of herbs like Italian Parsley and Cilantro and Sacred Basil and Dill. But 9 times out of 10, I make Jalapeno. It is the most popular flavor BY FAR. It is the Michael Jackson of Flavors!

Pickled Jalapenos and a pickled garlic from the jar, getting ready to be pulsed.

I use 365 brand Organic Cream Cheese, which costs $2.50.

First, you put one or two pickled or fresh jalapenos in the bowl of your food processor. Red ones make a very nice color of spread. If you are using the Mexican Pickled Jalapenos from the previous recipe, you can use the carrot and the onion and the garlic from those along with a jalapeno. The number of jalapenos will depend on how hot they are; mine from last year were SUPER HOT and the ones I picked at Johnson’s Backyard Garden were SUPER HOT too.

Add the Pieces of Cream Cheese

ANYWAY: to the one or two jalapenos, add about a teaspoon of French Gray Sea Salt. If you don’t have that kind of salt, use a half teaspoon of regular salt, and of course you could use any fancy gourmet salt you have around! Put the lid on the processor and pulse until the jalapenos are in tiny shreds.

Open your block of cream cheese and slice it into like 6 slices. Put the cream cheese in the food processor and pulse until it makes a ball sort of. Like there will be a ball of cream cheese flinging around in there, but not completely blended together. Take a rubber spatula and wipe all the little shreds of jalapeno off of the lid and the sides and make sure it is all in the bottom of the processor. Then replace the lid and pulse UNTIL THE BALL GOES AWAY and nothing is getting mixed anymore because it is all sticking to the sides.

Sticking to the Sides

Using the same rubber spatula, scrape all the jalapeno cream cheese out of the bowl and off the blade, and place in a handy receptacle. I use a glass with a lid.

This jalapeno cream cheese is mostly eaten on crackers by Dave, but I PARTICULARLY L*O*V*E it on a baked sweet potato! OMG so DELICIOUS! Also it is very good as a spread on a sandwich, not as the MAIN thing but used as one would use mayonnaise.

In a Glass with a Lid